Dear Dumb Diary Isabella asked her mom for money, but since Isabella's mom has three children, she is threetimes meaner than a mom with only one, and said no. We tried to escape the room as soon as we saw her mouth begin to form ADULT WISDOM, but she's fast and hit us with, "You know girls, the best things in life are free.""Like money?" Isabella asked. "So, like free money. Free money would…
I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that." What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, co…
School was okay today. Actually, it was better than okay. Angeline got her long, beatiful hair tangled in her backpack, and the school nurse - who is now one of my main heroes -snipped two feet of silky blond hair from the left side of her head, so now Angeline only looks like The Prettiest Girl in the World if you're standing on her right. (Although personally, I think she would look better i…
So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is Automatic Friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for…
Dear Dumb Diary, Isabella is probably right. She almost always is. When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry - scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner - although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.) But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to…